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Anyone who’s ever thumbed through Tinder or cruised Ok Cupid long enough has seen people sharing their Myers-Briggs personality types. Myers-Briggs is one of the most popular pop psych phenomenons in history, with 2.5 million people taking a Myers-Briggs test each year and the majority of Fortune 100 corporations using it to inform their leadership structures.

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And it didn't seem to be…until he disappeared a week later without explanation.

"I'm an ISTJ," he told me, and that's the moment I decided it could be doomed.

It was only my fourth date with the guy, but until then, he'd seemed perfect: an intelligent 23-year-old with blond hair, visible maturity, and the derring-do to wear a pink button-up. , categorizes people into 16 different, four-letter personality types, where each letter represents a preference between two modes of thinking—extroverted (E) versus introverted (I); sensing (S) versus intuitive (N); thinking (T) versus feeling (F); and judging (J) versus perceiving (P).

You never know what you might miss if you're limiting yourself at the start." What Myers-Briggs does help with, though, is providing a jumping-off point for communication, because "at the end of the day, if you can figure out how to communicate with another person, that's going to be the key to your relationship success." And that's where J. When he told me he was an ISTJ, I immediately gave up on being able to understand him (not to say he made it easy by ignoring my reconnection texts after.) So despite the MBTI not being the quite the dating cheat I thought it'd be, I do still believe in it and its power in relationships.

If all we really want is for people to understand us, the Myers-Briggs puts everyone one step closer, reminding us all to be aware of the many other ways people think.